What I would give for a wig!

Photo Credit: Nate Oman and Concurring Opinions. See The Tragic End of Wigs (July 13, 2007)

Photo Credit: Nate Oman and Concurring Opinions. See The Tragic End of Wigs (July 13, 2007)

Pick a jury in a criminal case on Monday.  Never done that bald. Sure wish I could wear a wig.

Wait. Now that I think about it, the blinding radiance of my bald pate in the stark lights will illuminate my literal and figurative ascension to the bench. Neato!


18 responses

  1. Perhaps you could wear the hat that Bad Matt gave you (I’m sure the lincoln statue won’t miss it)

    There more tasteful alternatives, however.


    Or, perhaps this (you can also buy a fake beard!)

    There’s many more options but I should probably stop and go study. Best of luck, your honor!

  2. Wear a wig? I think you should take the bench without a robe and sit on the same level as the jurors, who, by the way should face the jury box and not the opposing wall where a clerk or someone usually sits.

  3. I love the “Adult Lincoln Hat.” While it is not perfect for the bench, it is perfect for wearing while riding in my old Cadillac with the fake gold stuff. Super neato!


    All the best.

  4. Lorin,

    My jury box is to the right of the bench (from the judge’s perspective) and faces directly at the witness box–a literal box directly across the well of the court from the jury.

    You want me to step down and sit with all the others? Oh, my no. That would not be federal.

    All the best.


  5. Reading that post was like reaching down for a pebble and picking up a semi-precious stone. Thank you.

  6. I think that the Rumpole of the Bailey look might start a trend and might keep the jury awake. In the alternative, the Kojak style should foster the respect which you deserve as you tower over the participants in the courtroom. Elaine Mittleman

  7. No, Sir. You need this wig.

    You also wondered awhile ago about gussying up your judicial wardrobe. That gentleman has a nice jacket for you, too.

    And both will match your gray hair nicely when it returns.

    Eric Hines

  8. I agree with E Hines, although I was kind of partial to the caveman in the same group. And, the bone would make a much more impressive gavel.

  9. And, did I mention how stupid I think it is that the jurors cannot discuss the case amongst themselves during the trial. How does that conflict with keep an open mind? Just stupid. So, you are going to say something like they always get it right, eh. Not always. Only in the simple ones.

    How’s this, Judge: sit in the jury box and see what the jury sees. You don’t see squat from the bench, though I admit I haven’t been in your courtroom.

  10. Robert,

    Glad rags indeed. They were from a Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera to boot. The robe the Chief copied came from The Lord Chancellor (comic baritone) in that opera. I always thought of the stripes as a bit of self-mocking fun. All the best.


  11. SLS,

    I really, really want to do that with the bottom row of my false teeth. How cool would that be?

    All the best.


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