Reverse trigger warning: I don’t have Ebola

Yesterday, I had my last blood test prior to my PET scan scheduled for next Tuesday. I am done with the chemo infusions until we see the results of the scan next week, on Thursday. My blood counts are low, and that is to be expected. There is a small problem, however,

At the most inconvenient of times, like having lunch with the clerks at the Mexican joint across the street, my nose begins to spurt large quantities of blood. I have been taking Xarelto to thin my blood to make sure the blood clots I developed in Sioux City last year don’t come back.  While the bloody nose problem is not new, it has gotten far worse this last month. And now with an Ebola patient at the University of Nebraska Medical Center, most people are not particularly sanguine (pun) about being around a guy who has a tendency to spray blood all over. Hell, I cleared out the Mexican joint when the law clerks and wait staff went running for large paper napkins to staunch the flow and mop up the mess. That made me feel bad so I had a Margarita.

Anyway, I don’t have Ebola (so far as I know). So, if you appear before me at sentencing or the like, remember the world greatest philosopher, Bobby McFerrin. Don’t worry, be happy.

RGK

 

16 responses

  1. “Anyway, I don’t have Ebola (so far as I know). So, if you appear before me at sentencing or the like, remember the world greatest philosopher, Bobby McFerrin. Don’t worry, be happy.”

    Is the defendant getting blood spatter from the judge grounds for downward departure?

  2. backuschingablog,

    Yes, it was. I shoulda had two but by then the Mexican waiter was wearing a haz mat suit and seemed reluctant to continue serving us.

    All the best.

    RGK

  3. Judge:
    The false belief of those in the Mexican joint that you appeared to be more ill than you actually are is, I daresay, nothing less than a than a blood libel.
    Sorry, I just couldn’t help it.
    Robert

  4. You’re bleeding. That’s good–it means your heart is still pumping.

    Oh, and stop adulterating perfectly good tequila. Aside from the purity, the alcohol is a fine sterilant.

    Eric Hines

  5. Dad, I’m doubling over in laughter. The same same day you posted this, I happened to be searching for some music other then the soundtrack to Frozen for Petra to dance to. For some reason Mcferrin’s catchy tune came to my mind as a fun and positive tune for the kids to groove to. The last 24 hours I’ve heard the song too many times to count. Must be a cosmic grandparent to grandchild connection via Don’t worry, be happy.

  6. Three things tell you you’re getting old: 1. You need reading glasses, 2. You can’t remember where you put them: and 3. You’re on blood thinners.

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