An admission about the Easter Bunny

I have an admission to make. I waive Miranda.

The rabbits are back. It seems like hundreds of them. They eat the emerging plants in Joan’s garden.

When I can (dawn and sundown) I plunk at the damn things with my little .22 rifle. Once in a while I will kill one, and that seems to chasten the rest of the herd for a time.

bunny_egg_cross_wall

Source: Seasonal Crap

Joan takes the bunny carcass and puts it in a bag in the beer fridge in the garage. It freezes solid. We then call it a “bunny pop.” The next trash day sees the “bunny pop” in the can.

I think this makes me a bad man.

RGK

12 responses

  1. No, Rich this is not what makes you a bad man. (You have a lesser-harms defense.) And there are so many other, more compelling, sources of your badness from which we can choose. Happy Easter, dear friend.

  2. Freud would have an interesting time with this confession but I have settled on Scalia envy, the secret desire to imitate that famed killer of small animal while publicly telling him to STFU.

  3. Dear Judge K:

    I’ll be off work at 4:00 tomorrow. And next Monday, it’s JUDGE-HUNTING SEASON!!! 😉

    Love, E.B.

    (Seriously, it good to see that you’re back!)

  4. Jeez, and here I thought it was all them damn pot dealers driving the price of baggies and bullets up!

    It’s a bold move judge but I see what you are up to you.

    It’s an interesting strategy. But I think you can pull it off if the editors of Vanity Fair (dream on, you ain’t never going to make the cover of Rolling Stone unless you start smoking pot) don’t chicken out and run with the cover photo of you (gun in hand) and Joan (with a “bagged” bunny) posing in front of the vegetable garden when they get around to doing that piece on the blawging judge.

    If you time it just right you should be inking contracts with Ziploc and Remington just about the time you retire.

    Those deals ought to keep you in enough bullets and baggies until it is legal to smoke a joint at the corner beer joint in Nebraska at which time the bullet and non child proof baggie markets ought to settle down a little bit and you and Joan can go about your business without having to dip into your emergency fund to pay for your wares.

    P.S. You better hope the bunnies don’t tell their dad about you though. You bad, you very bad man, you…

    Oh yeah, if Joan is currently clubbing the wounded bunnies with her garden spade you might want to reconsider that practice and just keep shooting till you are sure. Remington is getting a little sensitive these days and Ziploc can deal with with a little extra blood.

  5. I killed a squirrel with a BB gun accidentally the other day. I felt horrible. I buried the poor guy, apologizing profusely the whole time.

    Am I a bad man?

    -SLS

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