Yesterday may have been the beginning of the end times.
My colleague Judge John Gerrard pitched the case brought by the woman who sued all homosexuals. A mountain lion was shot and killed by the police in Omaha. Tornadoes and torrential rain hit Nebraska. Cars were floating down the main street in Lincoln.
Clearly, these events are connected. Don’t you agree?
RGK
Hercules and the umpire. 
ONLY if the woman plaintiff was driving the car, with her pet mountain lion in the passenger’s seat, during the storm in Lincoln last night.
Jim,
I think there is a good chance the event you describe took place. I’d build an ark if I were you.
All the best.
RGK
Do you have a link to the order? So many grounds on which to dismiss the suit, and I’m curious as to which one or ones the judge relied on.
No, I don’t agree– just yet.
Now if there is an inundation of frogs, locusts, and lice, I would start to be concerned.
If that is followed by diseased livestock, and boils, then RUN.
Why do you assume the Nebraskans are not the chosen people about to be led to the promised land,Judge? That is our usual assumption about the realationship between the Almighty and the football team.
Little quick and dirty, but here ya go.
Thank you.
That is beautifully done.
I appreciate the cite to US ex rel Mayo v Satan and his Staff, but I appreciate even more that it was not gratuitous but in support of a legal proposition.
And the NSA has been illegally spying on you and me (ACLU v Clapper, Second Cir. Today).
I talked with Mitch and he said think positive, this will create endless jobs (Will This Float Your Boat – 8).
He is trying to get bipartisan support for his Groundhog Day Jobs Bill.
I thought I read that a tornado hit the Heathen Zoo in Oklahoma. All the homosexuals got out and escaped to Nebraska, and that is why she filed suit. But maybe I’m getting my healines mixed up.
Jill,
I am pretty sure you are correct. All the best.
RGK
Anon.,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was beginning to panic. I will be on the lookout for the omens you describe.
All the best.
RGK
repentinglawyer,
The football team is God!
All the best.
RGK
Meh, that’s all in Nebraska … even if it all goes … no one will notice … some day a kid in any airplane will look out and see a smoldering hole and ask his mom, what is that? Nothing, dear; it used to be Nebraska, but then some uppity judge started speaking his mind to the internet — and largely making complete sense — so the government nuked the whole state to silence him … no one really noticed for years…..
Charlie H.,
That’s pretty much the present state of affairs now. Don’t waste a nuke on a trifle. For my money, hit a rich target like Council Bluffs, Iowa.
All the best.
RGK
Hey! Over here in Council Bluffs we take that as a compliment! 🙂 The rich target you mention can only be the casinos, which, as you know, are rich as a result of the losses of legions of Nebraskans who cross the Mighty Mo in constant hope of hitting the big one (silly fools). I also see a problem – nuking Council Bluffs will have some unfortunate collateral damage: probably would take out that monument to Congressional “pork” and “ear marks”, the J. Robert Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge, and it might also take out the palace between Dodge and Douglas, a/k/a the Roman L. Hruska Federal Courthouse. Oh well, war is hell . . . . .
MOK,
Yes, indeed. Shit happens.
All the best.
RGK
I had no idea they had an downstream in Lincoln.
jsneff,
I was about to write some snark about Iowa, and then concluded what’s the point. By the way, I know Iowa has a lot of pigs. I recommend that you read the following article, and watch the video associated with it: Chris Buckley, In China, Pigs Are Flying. Almost., New York Times (May 6, 2015). Assuming I can get a visa, next time I wander through Iowa, I hope to see pigs fly.
All the best.
RGK
Judge:
One word, courtesy of that great thespian, William Shatner, sums it all up: “KKKKKKKKHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Robert
I think it is too long. It almost invites a continuation of the discussion. It’s not that it’s poorly written, but I don’t think this complaint should be given even a modicum of serious consideration.
Should have been one paragraph with a warning that any similar filing would invite sanctions.
Just my opinion. I don’t mean to be too critical, but I think this almost encourages the nuts among us to file these things.
A model of brevity and clarity. Bravo!
He must have spent all weekend on it.
The put pig shit in our drinking water and they wonder why we sue them.
jsneff,
And people in hell want ice water.
All the best.
RGK
LawDog,
Judge Gerrard is very talented. So too are his chambers law clerks. Same goes for the Court’s pro se law clerk.
All the best.
Robert,
No, I am pretty sure it was “Corinthian leather.”
All the best.
RGK
Anon.,
You have a point about giving attention to nuts! To be fair, I don’t know what I would have done.
All the best.
RGK
I agree with you about the warning of sanctions. Other than that, I disagree, but I would chalk it up to a matter of taste. I don’t think it invites either the plaintiff or like-minded people reading it to pursue this course.
Obviously, the complaint doesn’t deserve serious consideration, but I kind of think you can’t go wrong giving people more respect than they deserve.