It is about 2:00 AM Friday morning. I have been popping pain pills like the addict I could easily become. This is because I have “meth mouth” and every couple of minutes Zeus fires a bolt from the blue into what remains of my real teeth.
My dentist, a slight woman who moonlights racing big horses around barrels at old West rodeos, got me into to see her yesterday afternoon. She said I must get rid of the right lower molar and the tooth adjacent to it. She recommended that I see an oral surgeon. So, in about six hours, the surgeon will yank the two horribly decayed teeth while I behave as a girlie-man.
Too bad I don’t have to sentence anyone today. Putting addicts in prison for long stretches is always a good antidote to whatever ails me. So, I will probably have to default to a Percocet binge with more than a little gin to get ’em down.
Toothless in Nebraska (RGK)
It’s hard for me believe a person of your professional status would neglect his teeth.
Art,
Let’s blame it on my parents, OK. That way, I don’t have to take responsibility for my inaction.
All the best.
RGK
As coinkydink would have it, I just got chewed out by my oral hygenist this week. (Lame pun entirely intentional.) Make ready the scurvy bucket!
Hope everything comes out ok judge.
Dredd,
I am home now deciding on which bottle of gin to drain first.
Everything went well.
All the best.
RGK
Cousin David,
It must be a genetic thing. We can’t be responsible for our own actions, can we?
Best to you and yours.
Rich
What I want to know is how many of my tax dollars are going to your oral surgeon that could have been saved by just buying you another bottle of gin, a string, and a doorknob?
Or, in the alternative, two more bottles of gin.
Peter H.,
No tax dollars. My dollars only. That said, I like both of your solutions. Simple, fast and painless.
I am ashamed that I didn’t think about them first.
All the best.
RGK