Toothache and the Nebraska girlie-man

meth_mouth_2-aIt is about 2:00 AM Friday morning. I have been popping pain pills like the addict I could easily become. This is because I have “meth mouth” and every couple of minutes Zeus fires a bolt from the blue into what remains of my real teeth.Zeus

My dentist, a slight woman who moonlights racing big horses around barrels at old West rodeos, got me into to see her yesterday afternoon. She said I must get rid of the right lower molar and the tooth adjacent to it. She recommended that I see an oral surgeon. So, in about six hours, the surgeon will yank the two horribly decayed teeth while I behave as a girlie-man.

Too bad I don’t have to sentence anyone today. Putting addicts in prison for long stretches is always a good antidote to whatever ails me. So, I will probably have to default to a Percocet binge with more than a little gin to get ’em down.

Toothless in Nebraska (RGK)



8 responses

  1. It’s hard for me believe a person of your professional status would neglect his teeth.

  2. Art,

    Let’s blame it on my parents, OK. That way, I don’t have to take responsibility for my inaction.

    All the best.


  3. As coinkydink would have it, I just got chewed out by my oral hygenist this week. (Lame pun entirely intentional.) Make ready the scurvy bucket!

  4. Dredd,

    I am home now deciding on which bottle of gin to drain first.

    Everything went well.

    All the best.


  5. Cousin David,

    It must be a genetic thing. We can’t be responsible for our own actions, can we?

    Best to you and yours.


  6. What I want to know is how many of my tax dollars are going to your oral surgeon that could have been saved by just buying you another bottle of gin, a string, and a doorknob?

    Or, in the alternative, two more bottles of gin.

  7. Peter H.,

    No tax dollars. My dollars only. That said, I like both of your solutions. Simple, fast and painless.

    I am ashamed that I didn’t think about them first.

    All the best.


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