SSM case in Haiku

670px-Write-a-Haiku-Poem-Step-2

THE SCOTUS MARRIAGE DECISION, IN HAIKU.
BY DANIELA LAPIDOUS*

– – – –
Roberts’ dissent:

I support you all
No, really, I do, but this
Isn’t our problem.

Alito’s dissent:

“Happiness is not
the point of marriage, fools. It’s
BABIES,” he whispered.

Thomas’ dissent:

“Liberty” – this word,
I do not think Locke means what
You think it means. Sigh.

Scalia’s dissent:

You’re not a poet,
Kennedy. And by the way,
Democracy’s dead.

Kennedy’s majority decision:

Hark! Love is love, and
love is love is love is love.
It is so ordered.

RGK

*Published in Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, (last accessed July 8, 2015).

H/t: Homer315

6 responses

  1. I’m fairly certain that this is the most a federal judge has ever liked anything I’ve sent to him or her (and I’ve filed a lot of things). Perhaps my next motion for summary judgment should be in haiku…

  2. Homer315,

    Dare I say that it might be more understandable? No, that would be unkind.

    Seriously, thanks for sending this along. If nothing else, it brought a smile to my face. Recently, smiles have been in short supply on this coots face.

    All the best.

    RGK

  3. It’s been a week since I first read it, and it still brings a smile to my face (especially the majority decision — that one might very well be the perfect haiku).

  4. Judge:
    The essence of the dissents:
    Bushmen, Chinese and
    Carthaginians ask: “Who
    do we think we are?”
    OR
    SSM hubris
    Nine unelected lawyers:
    Just who will rule you?
    Robert

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