If you play football at Nebraska, don’t kill a raccoon with a wrench after it bites you in the leg even if you fear it might be rabid because, in return, PETA will chew your ass

I can’t make this stuff up. See here. The Lincoln paper’s headline screams, “PETA calls for punishment, training after Husker player kills raccoon.”

In part, the story recounts the saga this way,

Huskers defensive end Jack Gangwish was driving his pickup north of town on Dec. 3 when spotted a raccoon in the road and decided to take a photo of himself with the animal.

The raccoon wasn’t as keen on the idea and bit 21-year-old Gangwish in the calf.

“It was a raccoon selfie gone completely wrong,” he said later.

Gangwish said he thought the raccoon should be tested for rabies, so he grabbed a wrench with the aim of subduing it.

“It was death by crescent wrench,” said the 6-foot-2, 260-pound Gangwish, who later tweeted that he did not have rabies.

Wild animals account for 90 percent of rabies cases in the United States, and raccoons make up almost half of those, according to the website of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. There were about 6,200 cases of animal infection and one case of human infection in 2012.

On Wednesday, Gangwish said his wound was doing OK and declined further comment.

In her letter to Eichorst, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said, “No animal deserves to be bludgeoned to death, and cruelty is not acceptable under the law. It’s time for acts of cruelty to animals committed by players to be taken extremely seriously, and with violence in football culture now under the microscope, this is the time to address the issue.”

Trigger warning: I next write figuratively and not literally:  I love all creatures great and small, but this asinine complaint makes me want to beat PETA with a wrench.


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