Secret federal judge stuff and Black Sabbath

I am really worried about Chinese hackers.  Additionally, I am really worried about the kid who  disclosed a bunch of secret stuff and fled to Hong Kong.  (I have been to Hong Kong–he should try the dumplings.)  Most importantly, I am really worried that the Chinese or the kid in Hong Kong may tap into my super secret federal judge stuff.

This morning when I “fired up” the government laptop at home, this is what happened:

  1. The laptop spoke to the hardware router via encrypted something or other.  Buzzing ensued.
  2. The finger print scanner on the laptop failed.  I had been eating a sugar donut, and the instructions say to wash your hands before accessing the scanner.  Even after I licked my fingers, the damn thing wouldn’t work.
  3. I used the alternate password method to open the laptop.
  4. I then put in the second password to get to the desktop.
  5. With that, I then accessed the secure network via another password.
  6. After that, I got into my e-mail account with yet another password.
  7. I accessed the Apple e-mail about Black Sabbath that I blogged about yesterday secure in the knowledge that Chinese hackers or the kid in Hong Kong had absolutely no clue whatever about whether I added Black Sabbath to my play list.

I just wanted you to know that all my top-secret judge stuff is safe.  I know you were really worried.


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