A Fighting Word

How-to-Make-Pretty-Labels-in-Microsoft-Word-1024x574From the Director of the Administrative Office, I learned three days before the surgeon was to punch holes in my chest that: “During 2015, the Administrative Office (AO) will transition from Corel WordPerfect to Microsoft Word as its standard word processing program.” I know damn well that this announcement was designed to kill me.*

But I will not be cowed. Clutching my WP cheat sheet, I set out this year, as I have in years past, to defeat the forces that would take freedom away. I repeat these fighting words for everyone within the sound of my voice to hear and to heed, and especially for you, Mr. Director,

“From my cold, dead hands!”

charles-barsotti-the-bunny-did-not-get-the-job-because-the-bunny-is-cute-the-bunny-got-th-new-yorker-cartoonRGK

*Thanks to my mole deep within the bowels of the pestilence ridden IT mafia of the federal courts. It is good to know that there are still patriots amongst us.

Hippo Image credit:  Charles Barsotti, Condi Nast Collection and Art Com.

The “most writer-friendly word processor on the planet” and my plan to join ISIS

According to unbiased sources, as of September 15, 2014, WordPerfect remains the “most writer-friendly word processor on the planet.”

What do federal judges and their law clerks spend most of their day doing? They write. Ergo, the IT unbelievers (and their judicial minions) that pimp Word must be slaughtered. I’m about to join ISIS.

RGK

Photo credit: NBC News and State of Myths (n Iraqi TV show poking fun at ISIS would have already triumphed over battalions of militants rampaging through Iraq and Syria. "State of Myths" features a gun-toting dwarf, a guy in salmon-colored shorts wielding golf clubs and ISIS chief Abu Omar Al Baghdadi arm-curling human skulls, among many others.

Photo credit: NBC News and State of Myths (An Iraqi TV show poking fun at ISIS,
“State of Myths,” features a gun-toting dwarf, a guy in salmon-colored shorts wielding golf clubs and ISIS chief Abu Omar Al Baghdadi arm-curling human skulls.)

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